10 things I love

The clever, sexy and accomplished writer Betty Herbert (her ACTUAL, PUBLISHED book on shagging your (own) husband is coming out very soon, no less) tagged me to list 10 things I love. Ok then, says I, seeing as I have blogger’s block, although not like Anna Wulf in Doris Lessing’s The Golden Notebook, which I have just suffered through in the name of Book Club, because she was PROPERLY cracking up in the most tedious, well-documented way. No, I just have nothing to say, other than:

1. Casper has begun to shriek “I will tell the police what you are DOING TO ME!” when we are in public, when something doesn’t entirely go his way, and it causes people to look at us, all alarmed and suspicious-like, while I whisper very loudly that he should NOT talk about the police to other people, and anyway, I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING! Sweaty, ha ha! oh how kids say the funniest things! etc etc as I wheel the buggy out of the shop quick smart and run home to the safety of sound-proofed walls. Obnoxious and precocious, that little monkey is.

2. I gathered up all of my unworn clothes, ironed them, cleaned the bits of dried spillage with baby wipes, photographed them, posted them on eBay, did the maths and mentally bought myself a Chanel 2.55 with the hefty proceeds, watched and waited for NO BIDS. No one wants my clothes. My Marni dress. My YSL jacket. My DvF dresses. Is it becos I is UNSTYLISH? Clearly. Anyhoo, there will be no more of this sad eBay business. For real, this time.

3. I am driving to Derby tomorrow to meet a manufacturer. I really don’t think I can drive for that long. My eyes will close in driving-related sleepiness fo’ sho’.

4. I have been given the go-ahead to have another baby, provided it is a girl. So that is good news, although, technically, difficult to meet the requisite conditions. I will try, though, aided by my googled “How to Make Sure Your New Baby Is A Girl” articles, by people who are QUITE POSSIBLY medically trained.

10 Things I Love

1. I don’t really want to put these fellas here, because it is not very original, and a bit soft-in-the-head, but I love these the MOST MOST MOST:

Really inspired choice of husband. I didn’t really know it then, but it was the most genius decision to hitch my ride with him. And of course, the hideous-yet-excellent children. You know what they look like. Dirty, and violent. A reminder, anyway:

2. This:

My Mulberry Alexa. Because I am a filthy, soulless snob. I use it every day, and it makes me feel AWESOME. I am like that with all of my clothes, and I have been like this since I was 12 and I had a clothing epiphany. I realised that purple t-shirts and bike shorts were ugly, and the way forward was FABULOUSNESS every day, even if you are overrun by small children/poor/tired/pregnant. Which leads me to my next love:

3. Sample sales. Tonight, I am missing the Christopher Kane one. The one in which I would have found a perfectly fitting neon orange dress with a prim neckline and pleats. I would have been awesome. But I couldn’t go, so I just have to imagine the awesomeness. Last week, I did manage to get a babysitter and go to the Alexander McQueen and Erdem sample sales. I have new excellent expensive clothes (which no one will want to buy in a few years when I realise the folly of sample sale-ing and I try to hock them off on bloody eBay again).  But it was fun, OK?

4. My La Pavoni coffee machine. It is sleek and lovely and reliable (and leaky).

5. London. For the parks, the seasons, the streets, the noise, the cabs, the tube, the pubs, Selfridges, all the obvious.

6. Tom Ford everything. Shame about the merciless destruction of those excellent lipsticks.

7. A glass of sauvignon blanc of an evening. (Of every evening, actually).

8. My iPad. I love it unconditionally.

9. Benefit Benetint, for making me look younger. Botox also works for this.

10. A three-way tie between Kate Middleton, scrambled eggs and Glee.

And yours?

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19 Responses to 10 things I love

  1. Now regretting asking you because your list is better than mine *slinks off in envious haze*

    • theharridan says:

      no! no! Not true! Mine is just a rehash. We all know that I like bags and lipsticks. I have not one original thought in my head. PROMISE

  2. Patience says:

    When I was in college I had a friend who told me The Golden Notebook was her all-time favorite book, so I slogged my way through it just because she said so. It was tough going but I enjoyed some of her other books.

    • theharridan says:

      Well, after I told everyone loudly at book club how much reading it was killing me softly with boredom, they all explained to me what I was missing. Then I realised I was doing it a little bit of an injustice. It is not terrible, and it is remarkable for its time, and, yes, it is a seminal feminist text, and yes, it does go some way to describing the situation of subjugation for women in the 50’s and stuff, but OHHHHHHHH what a long way to go about it! Much prefer The Hare With Amber Eyes. Give me Parisian tales of moneyed debauchery any day.

  3. Belinda says:

    I assume number 7 the Sav is NZ only! And I completely agree how smart your husband choice was.

    • theharridan says:

      Yes, and yes. Although I have been branching out a little. (I mean, trying other wines, not trying other husbands).

  4. PaisleyJade says:

    I would totally buy your clothes! Love your list – cracking up at the policeman talk… a while ago while we were in a shop our wee one was being naughty so Symon carried her out while she screamed “help, help, help”. Symon has never been the same since…

    • theharridan says:

      thank you. They would be too big for you, oh thin-mother-of-four. But I appreciate the thought. By the way, I did sell the marni one. £72, which is a loss of about £200. Not my finest moment.

  5. Sally says:

    Given ‘Go Ahead’ for another baby provided it is a girl? Doesn’t Mr Fray realise it is all up to him???? Or is he in denial like King Henry 8th??? Do be careful Cousin Jodi!

  6. Jane says:

    I think you missed Babyliss Big Hair off this list by some terrible oversight. (I still don’t know what Babyliss Big Hair is, but I am intrigued since you have mentioned it regularly.)
    And I have to ask – is that YOU modelling the Mulberry Alexa? Because if so, you are looking hot hot HOT and have clearly been taking notes on how to pose like Kate Moss.

    • theharridan says:

      Since Aveda made me asymmetrically bald, cannot use my babyliss big hair. So, no, it is not a loved thing at the moment. But my hair *will* grow, one day, if I take enough vitamin supplements. And yes, that is me posing. Last year. I am WAAAAAAAythinner now, I feel.

  7. redfox says:

    I cannot concentrate on your excellent list because I am so distracted by the horrible genius revealed in the first item of your pre-list list. Casper, you brilliant little monster!

    • theharridan says:

      He is the worst of little monsters. He has been taking the phone into the hall, and I find him muttering away, saying “mummy won’t let me eat biscuits/kick anyone/draw on the walls so please take her to jails.” it is getting quite annoying.

  8. no mention of Haggis?
    whisky?
    i have to get an upgraded testosterone injection before I visit your lovely blog, as I can feelthe essential girlishness sucking me down. Clothes? Lipsticks? *shudders and beats dog with rolled up newspaper to demonstrate masculine feelings of control*
    No mention of power tools, cars, anything oily, even Fish and Chips.

    Poor ladies.

    Husband looks a nice bloke though. What were you actually doing to him when that photograph was taken?
    It looks like it could be:
    A. Exploding hemorrhoids
    B. Semi-terminal constipation
    C. Some sort of sexual perversion coming to fruition
    D. One of your delightful children have just grabbed his goolies

    do tell.

  9. theharridan says:

    C’mon! London is manly, and wine is only a little bit effeminate, and my husband is CLEARLY blokeish. iPads are unisex. And men can love Kate Middleton too – in fact, it is patriotic and correct to do so. I love her mostly for her chutzpah and tight dresses and horse-mane hair. You can join me, dude!
    Am sure husband is gurning in such an alarming manner owning to d). But you never know. I am oft to be found performing c), though not usually in our communal gardens.

    • Agree about the wine, but London is too girly for a Scot or a Northerner. iPads sound like an item for feminine hygiene, so are therefore DEFINITELY not unisex. Unless i’ve got diarrhoea. Anything to do with the Royals or the bloody wedding ;no.
      You admit to C?
      You lovely brazen thing you.
      What sort of fruit?
      Any photos of a nature suitable for a family publication?
      or not?
      Really agree about the wine.

  10. alison cross says:

    oh look at how lovely they look in the bath together – like the Ascent of Man, or at least small boy.
    You’re ok to have a girl?! He does realise that you won’t be able to send it back if it turns out to be the 5th in your Ascent of Man series?

    Time for new lipsticks…..and who is this manufacturer that you are going to see? Sounds interesting!

    Ali x

  11. Merann says:

    You should ask Sally Burns her secret; she’s just had a girl hasn’t she? I did have a book entitled “how to choose the sex of your baby”. I lent it to Anya after she had Levi; she went on to have 2 more boys…so probably not that helpful a text. Apparently you can get an app that helps you to conceive (you don’t have a problem there) but whether you can choose the sex of the baby in this app …. Not so sure. Mark is probably so manly he doesn’t have any girl gametes. You could always raise a Fa’afafine….. Threaten to make Casper one if he doesn’t stop calling the police 🙂

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